Suffering to the glory of God!

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“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”
2 Corinthians 4:17

When I joined the Marine Corps back in 2008 I knew I was in for a journey! What I was unaware of was what would come after serving in the corps. 

while I was serving, I got married in mid December of 2010 to my then Girlfriend and planned to live an easy life. Life was beautiful, but definitely not easy. I served my last year and was medically separated late 2011. 

As soon as I was separated reality struck. I was going to have to live with PTSD! Before I was separated I was diagnosed with severe PTSD, Sleep Apnea and back problems. 

Since my separation I have had to learn how to live with all of the aforementioned conditions. Being me, I assumed it would be easy to do that. Ten years later I have come to understand that was a wrong assumption. It has been anything but easy. 

These past ten years have proven to be very difficult. Many things trigger me and cause me to react in a manner that is unloving (By Gods grace I have been able to get it under control, but that has not been easy). There have been days where I have cried out to God to help me get this problem under control (To be honest, I have felt He has said no every time). 

Ten years later and I am still dealing with this broken Spirit. Why do I feel how I feel? What am I missing? Does God even hear my cries? 

If I can be honest, I have not yet got an answer to why I feel how I feel. But I can say that in spite of all of these things, all of these pains, stressors, anxieties and much much more, God loves me and He is enough. No matter what I go through, how much I suffer, He is enough! The sooner I realize that the sooner I am comforted by the Holy Spirit whom is my comforter from the Father! Scripture reminds me,

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”

The pains I am dealing with are momentary. They won’t last forever. Also, in light of eternity they are not to be compared. All of this will pass and the day will come when I am in His presence. In that moment all else will vanish and all my pains will be no more. In that moment I will be in the presence of my savior.

knowing that reality does not take the pain away, but, it makes it bearable, knowing that all of this is not in vain. All my tears are not being ignored. He is listening and one day I will be in Heaven with Him where He will wipe away all of my tears and remove all of my fears! This all reminds me of a hymn that I recently came across,

“Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also, The body they may kill; God’s truth abideth still, His kingdom is forever.”

Let us let everything and everyone go for the sake of our King! He is enough and He loves me! 

In His Grace,

Bernardo Fernandez

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